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Author Topic: The Taunting Thread  (Read 56518 times)

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Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #150 on: January 07, 2004, 04:06:04 PM »
standing back and watching
the show

[Edited on 1-7-2004 by [303]JollyRoger]
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline ZWarrior

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« Reply #151 on: January 07, 2004, 04:06:22 PM »
*stands up and grabs fraggy*

"Haven't read about my sweet suit huh? Take more than lead to go through it."

*slaps Fraggy in the head, shoves a live grenade down his shorts, and runs*

Booom!

Fraggy no longer has a problem with constipation.


*ZW heads for the nearest bar.*

"Time for a stiff glass of milk.  That was a little too close!"
--------------------------------
Zoë: Shepard, isn't the Bible kind of specific about killing?
Book: Very specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the area of kneecaps.

Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #152 on: January 07, 2004, 07:01:38 PM »
"Eeeww!"
"End-trails of Fraggies"
Jolly wipes off his face and continues digging.
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline Fraggster

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« Reply #153 on: January 07, 2004, 08:35:47 PM »
dangit, now im ticked hrmm lets see, PFFT PFFT:sniper:, no more jolly. now for ZW *whips out a little cyanide and slips it in Z's milk* THUMP! And the end of ZW:lol:
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Offline opiesilver

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« Reply #154 on: January 07, 2004, 10:42:44 PM »
Opie just watches from afar knowing of the sure death that awiats them all.  Through his optically enhanced spotting scope he watches as space itself being to warp and tear.  ZW forgot about the new weapons that Opie added to Mr. Snuggles and what happened when they went off.  To make things worse they all detonated at the same time.  Micro-thorium grenades, weapons that had been banned from most of the civilized universe, have the bad habbit of tearing reality itself and opening a hole to an alternate universe.  When only one grenade is used it causes a black hole effect for a couple of nano seconds becuase of the pressure difference between the universes.  When more than one goes off the effects can be, well, catastrophic.:jawdrop:

**Opie logs out of the game before his character is consumed by what ZW has unleashed.**
Mediocre people are always at their best.

Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #155 on: January 07, 2004, 10:52:08 PM »
Jolly, see the Fabric of time ripping in half, so he grabs his needle and "time thread" and get to work. Stitch after stitch Jolly starts to so the fabric back together slowly sealing the rip. Soon he has caught up with the speed of the rip and will  get it under control in no time.
"My grandma was the best sewing queen in the univeres and she taught me every thing":D

[Edited on 1-8-2004 by [303]JollyRoger]
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline ZWarrior

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« Reply #156 on: January 07, 2004, 11:04:38 PM »
*ZW hands Jolly a medal*

"Best in Show - Ambush Sewing Bee"

*walks away muttering*

"Now why does everything smell like almonds?"
--------------------------------
Zoë: Shepard, isn't the Bible kind of specific about killing?
Book: Very specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the area of kneecaps.

Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #157 on: January 09, 2004, 02:07:36 PM »
Jolly stop only a moment to proudly pin the medal to his chest.:D
 
Continues sewing

"I don't smell almonds?":D
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline Fraggster

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« Reply #158 on: January 09, 2004, 03:27:00 PM »
Fraggy watches all this with muse, eating a can of almonds....
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Offline Boomslang

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« Reply #159 on: January 09, 2004, 04:31:23 PM »
Waiting to see what the clan vote will be  :lol:lol:

Offline snauzberries

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« Reply #160 on: January 09, 2004, 04:45:21 PM »
Still in the alternet demesion he his a frozen cube."this is wonderful.......im am being cronegencly frozen in my skivies."



*****2000 years later*******



Falling on his face he awaks.
he is taken away by some slim creatuer..or so it seems cause he cannot see a thing.
a week later he regains his sight and is in a palace with what looks like laminted humans. Odd
"were am i"
"the question is when are you
For the past two millenia you have been crongencly frozen in your skivies because of this harsh planet"
"what is this planet?"
"this is.........i dont know how to pronouse it........Sam do u?
"its dericiohgion..."
"thank you.........thats the planet"
"for my finaly question who are you?"
"we are humans.........we have evoled through out time though, which is why whe have this lammanated look to us.....keeps out UV rays so we can still live on earth. you cant though it is way to hot there."
"ok well is it alright is i travel with you guys?"
"sure"


**months pass****

now carring nucular proof armour and a handy new rifle he wonders whats going on at the frag-fest
is the server still up?
if its not thatn how can ii be here?

like having esp(which pperntly he does....damn evolution) he read his thoughts.
"the server is down and ambush has long past...... you are here because that inter-dymesnal sent you to that planet in demesin 159 but than in the year 3878 the univers became one again.......the univers is like a rubber band goes out which take a long time and SNAPS back it a short amout of time.......the snap caused all thje demensions to become one thats why we know abot ambush.......i am Zs great-great-great-great-great-great-(...........5 mins pass) graet grand son jebedia.
"do you happen to have a time macine?"
"yes we do.....but you must go back to the year 3878 or you will end up in the same situation less the skivies."

getting in he sets the macine to earth, omaha nebraska, january 8, 3878


******BZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTT**


he is now in a hevly populated omaha

"lets see jeb. said to go to the 303 head quarters."
looks across the street
"ahh how convient"
walking in he sees a pituer of himself next to jolly "hey im famous:D"
"STATE YOUR ID AND SERIAL NUMBER PLEASE"
looking over he sees a robot.
"snauzberries"
pulling out his dog tags that jolly got him.....
"umm...122422303544GFHF6-B"
Welcome snauzberries
it has been 1698654days scies last visited"
walking in he sees the place full fragin on unreal toury 3878"

..........to be continued

Offline ZWarrior

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« Reply #161 on: January 09, 2004, 06:32:52 PM »
( I wanna see the system UT3878 runs on! )

ZW wanders into the lair kitchen and fixes a giant dagwood sandwich with a tall glass of milk, then heads back out, making sure to lock the door as he leaves.

"Hey Jolly, wanna snack?"

*ZW Sets the grub down and moves out of range.*

"(Australian Accent) Now we will see the most dangerous beast in the dimension, a feasting Jolly!  Isn't he a Beaut?!?  Look at those jaws work!"

*moves off looking for targets*
--------------------------------
Zoë: Shepard, isn't the Bible kind of specific about killing?
Book: Very specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the area of kneecaps.

Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #162 on: January 09, 2004, 07:01:55 PM »
*Munch**MUNCH**MUNCH**MUNCH*
*Narf**Munch**MUNCH**Narf**Munch*
*MUNCH**Narf**Munch**Narf**Munch*
*Narf**Munch**MUNCH**Narf**Munch*
*MUNCH**Narf**Munch**Narf**CHOKE!*
"MMMM! THAT WAS A TASTEY SNADWICH,"
*pulls out a six pack (of Bawl) and chugs three to wash down that sandwich"
Save the other three for later.
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline Fraggster

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« Reply #163 on: January 09, 2004, 08:49:21 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by [303]JollyRoger
*Munch**MUNCH**MUNCH**MUNCH*
*Narf**Munch**MUNCH**Narf**Munch*
*MUNCH**Narf**Munch**Narf**Munch*
*Narf**Munch**MUNCH**Narf**Munch*
*MUNCH**Narf**Munch**Narf**CHOKE!*
"MMMM! THAT WAS A TASTEY SNADWICH,"
*pulls out a six pack (of Bawl) and chugs three to wash down that sandwich"
Save the other three for later.
ummm, jolly i dont think you were supposed to eat that *watches as jolly starts to smoke* i think i will be leaving now *grabs jolly's bawls and run like to other......
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Offline snauzberries

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« Reply #164 on: January 09, 2004, 11:05:02 PM »
..............THE FUTURE.............................

previously on ambush forums


*** read the above posts moron***


....looking around the 303 headquarters he takes a look at the pc............Petium X12 nivida and other parts that looked awsome.
sitting at the only free one he pops it on and it loads.
100 terabyts of disk space on two hard drives
25 tera mem
ungoldy ammounts of others stuff

"im impressed, now i cant wait to grow up"
looking over his sholder he sees two ppl walking over.
"you forgot to check in to  join the lan party also that is the admistative computer
noob"
*SMACK*
"what was that for"says the other"
*SMACK*
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!"
*a noob who slaps?"
*SMACK*
"no ur rong,
who founed this clan?"
"the great jolly roger"
"well i wouldent say great.......Who was his brother?"
"the greater(hehe take that jolly) snauzberries who had the top fragging score nation wide in one match"
"i did?! sweet"
"You did?!"
they look at the piture of me in the news look back and look at the piture again....
"HOLY.....Ur alive but how.....?"
"im from the futer and the past"
and im a couple millinia late for a frag ofz, jolly, opie, and maby wolvie for that silly outfit:evil"
and this is the place to get in the right demision i need"
"but i thogh....."
SMACK* "no querys"


a few short days of playin ut, bf 2042, and many other great titles that have life like graphics and stunning sound, snauz gets ready to leave

"blaster------yes
sate of the art computer-----dido
laser cutter-----mmm hmmm
10$ bill-----yup
bawls-----k
spy copter with cloking devce------far out
fork lift--okies
a true ever lasting gobstopper----sweet
a ompa lommpa-------O BOY!
 a case to carry all this that makes it all less than one pound------light

5....4....3.....2....1


*******BZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT*******



"1887 was a bad year"
going into the bank he opens a bank account with that 10 dollers
leaves


*bzzzztttttt****

2004

walks in to bank and withbraws all 35421000.95 and buys lab supplies, furnituer.....a hdtv....and puts all in his case
walking out to a clearing he pulls out the copper and turns it on


flying invisble to the battle feild he lands on top of the huge moutin behind were he was moved to the bitter cold
taking out the laser cutter he cuts a big hole on top and disigrats a hole with the copter

this will do


after unpacking he sits down grabs a bawls and says


"its good to be home"



*****force feild engaged *******


"now that im inpenitrble i think ill watch the battle"



....thus ends the futer for snauz but he did get a new computer and game that arnt out yet :D:D



[Edited on 10/2004/1 by [303]snauzberries]

Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #165 on: January 10, 2004, 12:11:27 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Fraggster
Quote
Originally posted by [303]JollyRoger
*Munch**MUNCH**MUNCH**MUNCH*
*Narf**Munch**MUNCH**Narf**Munch*
*MUNCH**Narf**Munch**Narf**Munch*
*Narf**Munch**MUNCH**Narf**Munch*
*MUNCH**Narf**Munch**Narf**CHOKE!*
"MMMM! THAT WAS A TASTEY SNADWICH,"
*pulls out a six pack (of Bawl) and chugs three to wash down that sandwich"
Save the other three for later.
ummm, jolly i dont think you were supposed to eat that *watches as jolly starts to smoke* i think i will be leaving now *grabs jolly's bawls and run like to other......



"Sorry, I got Gas"
*Fraggie Passes out from the stench*
Jolly Gets his Bawls Back:D
"Jerk!"

Jolly Starts walking towards the mountain and pulls out his Loudspeaker.
"Hey Snauz its good to frag you back, I mean have you back."
"Jolly? Is that you?"
"Yeah."
"How did you know were I landed"
"Didn't you ever watch Wonder Women"
"Doh!"

Jolly Walks away to with a cloud of smoke tailing his back side.

[Edited on 1-10-2004 by [303]JollyRoger]
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline snauzberries

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« Reply #166 on: January 10, 2004, 01:58:56 PM »
Getting out is onmpa lompa he puts it in his handy cloning macine and takes the duplicute out.
rapping C-4 aroung it he opens the top of his moutin and climbs up.
snauz throws the ompa lompa off the side and it rolls to about were 10 feet away......."hmmm"*calls out to ompa*"TROW A MATCH TOWARD HIS BACK SIDE!"

the ompa lompa did as comadnded...the smoke exiting out of his back end tured in to a stream of fire resulting in a flaming jolly roger:hotbouns:

Why not......*click*


BOOM! the ompa expolded and it was rainf glee all over the field as jolly colapsed still smoldering

Offline ZWarrior

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« Reply #167 on: January 10, 2004, 03:10:04 PM »
:rolling:lol

I will write when I finally get up off the floor from laughing.
--------------------------------
Zoë: Shepard, isn't the Bible kind of specific about killing?
Book: Very specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the area of kneecaps.

Offline Fraggster

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« Reply #168 on: January 10, 2004, 08:50:33 PM »
What the......w0000t! *grabs the marshmallows and the Enforcer then heads off to jolly* now dang it still so i can roast my mallows *CAP CAP CAP* there, now where did i put the grahm crackers...........
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Offline snauzberries

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« Reply #169 on: January 10, 2004, 10:16:59 PM »
walking out with a case of bawls he joins the smore making.

mmmmmmm jolly rosted marshmellows

Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #170 on: January 10, 2004, 10:46:20 PM »
Little does anybody know but there is still a mega ton and a half of trapped gas in side of jolly just waiting for the right moment....

"Some you gonna pass me a Bawls"
"here you go" Snauz responsed
"cool"
*throws a Bottle at Fraggie*
"So how do we get ZW" Snauz asks
*Ksstt, Fraggie opens his Bawls*
" I see it Like this..."
""what the.... What is that smell..."
"I dunno"
"Oh no...RUN!"
BOOM!!!
Jollys body Blows up with a great violence as fraggie and snauz run fraggie looks back and a finger atached to a hand flys straight in to his eye. He falls The shock wave consumes his body and he's reduced to ashes from the million degree heat. Snauz is overcome too by the shock wave he body shatter to hundreds of peices and then to ashes.

ZW here the explosion and looks aroud he see a flash and then a mushroom cloud. "What was that?"
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline snauzberries

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« Reply #171 on: January 10, 2004, 11:51:19 PM »
Spawnig at his new spawn point(the lair of snauz) he sends a meesege out to z using the esp macine he stole from the 303 headquarters

"Z NEVER FEED JOLLY AGAIN"

he desides to watch some cartoons while suking on hes gobstopper

"ahh yes the staisfying plesuser of bugs bunny"

Offline snauzberries

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« Reply #172 on: January 14, 2004, 05:04:35 PM »
"well thats all folks"

...."hmmm it rather queit out there.......LETS MAKE SOME NOISE!"


getting in his 4x4 bullet prooff dune buggy he desides to go on a small cruie round the battle field

seeing z in the distance he stomps it


*BANG BANG BANG* from z's gun but its usseless

he runs but nothe cept a nothe dune buggy can match snauz speed

*SQUISH*



ewww

[Edited on 14/2004/1 by [303]snauzberries]

Offline JollyRoger

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« Reply #173 on: January 14, 2004, 05:58:56 PM »
So Jolly Does Just That.

He walks over to his garage and gets in
his '94 Jeep Cherokee two door with:
------------------------------------------------
460ci w/ Dual Deamon Carbs
2.75in Dia. Piped Headers
port/Polished heads
ported Intake
Vortec Super Charger  w/22 psi charge
4" Ranch Lift
Rancho RS500 Long travel shocks w/ res.  
18" Travel Springs
35in Mickey Thompson Steel and Kevlar Puncher proof tires
A&D industries Steel Rims with on the fly tire pressure regulation
4.11 front and back Dana 60 Diff.
Dana 300 T-Case
Military Bump w/ Push guard and built in Warn 8500i with custom hydrolic assist
Renforced bullet proof windows and body
(Stop Large and small arms fire):D
10 point renforced roll cage
room for four
And  a few trick in the back.
------------------------------------------------------

He heads out to find snauz has just make morning pancakes out of ZW so he stops and revs the Engine, Snauz turns around and see Jolly. Be the Cocky little Now 16 year old he is (HAPPY BIRTHDAY SNAUZ) he dirves over to asses how he will take out Jolly. But Jolly take the oppertunity and drives one wheel on top of Snauz's bunny Bugg. Snauz getting upset because he is unable to move starts to shoot and stab the tire but nothing happens. Jolly opens up a little door and pours a gallon of watter in to Snauz's fuel.
HYDRO-LOCK:D
" Bye Snauz"
Jolly Drives off

[Edited on 1-15-2004 by [303]JollyRoger]
No matter how hard you try to push the envelope, remember it's only stationary.

Offline snauzberries

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« Reply #174 on: January 14, 2004, 10:27:13 PM »
thats why the dealer offered warter proof engines



"hey jolly!" snauz shouts

he drives right up next to the waterlogged  buggy and says "what"

pulling out a little remote detanator he turns and walks away while pressing the button......


*BOOM*

the remainigh fuel on snauz ex-pankake maker explodes and snauz heads back to his lair with som siged butthair:hotbouns: