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*** this is a compilation of many emails exchanged by a group of gamers before a LAN party.  This includes other stories posted separately on this site as well  ***

The taunting begins.........

Don't forget OLD RUG (rouge), you're getting old! The younger days have been over for awhile! You do remember our last meeting.... I was running you down as you threw bottles of Geritol at me.

The time before that when you grabbed those steroids. Oops! You're right, Unreal Tournament doesn't have steroids. It was VIAGRA. It had the same effect as the steroids. You just ran around as a blur. You were shaking so much you couldn't hold on to a weapon.

I'm looking forward to changing your OLD diapers, OLD RUG (rouge). HA HA HA

I'm in.
p.s. I hope this font was big enough for you OLD RUG! he he he

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would assume that you are going to purchase a real machine? Do you feel the need for speed?

OK Woosmerine, You can ask shovel, oops I mean Spade, who's the man.

I spanked the crap outa him Monday night till 6:30AM Tuesday morning. All he could do is cry and thank me for the education.
SKILL Woosmerine. SKILL.

I personally think you might have me mixed up with the old man ANDY. Or maybe Tony the moaner.


Rogue.

I have a poem for Wolverine:

Here I sit all broken hearted...
Came to play but never started...
Went to play on my machine....
But found it saboed by Wolverine...

Thought it was a hopeless scam...
But found it was ZW's bad Ram...
So here I sit and am in wonder...

WHO WILL FEEL THE MIGHTY ROGUE's THUNDER!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This time could you put your dentures in. All I heard was big MUMBLE. I am truly sorry to ask you to repeat yourself OLD RUG.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the way Rogue I only moan when it gets boring doing "Headshots" of you all the time!!!

>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YAWN>.... Oh I'm sorry I thought I heard something off in the distance. I think It was Big Tony asking about head-shots.

I'll leave you to Wolverine. He takes care of my light-work.

Rogue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hear my MIGHTY ROAR! I am hungry! And feeding time is almost here!
muuuuhahahaaahaaa! I will feast on you ALL!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just thought you all need to remember that on Lan day you guys won't be able to play in GOD mode anymore. From all the comments below, I'm sure from the skill levels I have seen in the past that you guy's have been practicing in an unrealistic environment. I would suggest that you go in and play some deathmatch at the highest level possible with no cheat codes to get a taste of what it will be like on game day when SPADE is playing.

REGARDS TO YOU ALL,

Spade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT, HEADSHOT,

HEADSHOT, DOUBLE KILL, ULTRA KILL, MEGA KILL. HEADSHOT,

Just another day looking through Big Tony's sniper scope!!!

>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, Did you get all those little rubber duckies in your tub Big Tony?

R.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bark, Bark, Bark.....

DOUBLE KILL (Wolverine, and Big Tony)

Signed:
ROGUE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So what's with the HEADSHOT thing.........................Do you think maybe Tony was standing in front of a mirror or something ROGUE?

Spade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rouge, maybe you better think about a whole new reload before game night, just to make sure your ready....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmmmmmm?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The taunting has stopped! I assumed so. RUG and SHOVEL have awakened to the reality that I am better.
Guys, or should I say GIRLS, make sure you stuff the back of your pants with Charmin toilet paper, cause' your gonna' get spanked'. Never, Never, forget you can always come crying to me, cause' I'm your DADDY. Yes, yes, it's true, it's true. Just call me POPPA!!!!!

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Wolvy,
Pretty cocky for a girly-boy! With what you said and how you Play, I'll bring some diapers for you. Because we are gonna Headshot, Frag, or Gib you so many times you'll wet your pants and curl up in the fetal position!!! Not a threat just a Fact.

Whimperine !?!?!

hahahahahahahahaha

>>>>>>>>BIG TONY<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everybody! Let's sing!!!!

.....OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Whose afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf, big bad wolf.
Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf.........

MUAAAAHAHAHAHA.

I could just hear Rogue and Spade singing together on that!

R

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*gag*..... here they go again, they must be in a dream land. Well, they are getting up there in age. COOKOO COOKOO. Snap out of it girls. I can just see them singing too. I can hear them sing, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty,,,,,"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Definitions from the Websters New Collegiate Dictionary.

ROGUE 1: Vagrant, Tramp 2: a dishonest or WORTHLESS Person!

SPADE 1: A digging implement adapted for being PUSHED INTO THE GROUND with the foot!

Well isn't that great!!! We have a Worthless Vagrant that when he gets his head shot off he has a buddy a shovel, that is used to being push into the ground, to dig a grave for him.
GEEEEEE it sounds so scary..........NOT.
I don't know about you guys, but Bum and Shovel almost sounds meaner than Rogue and Spade!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>BIG TONY<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ummmmm ya.
Ok let's see....
OH YA?!
Well...
You,
You
You just,

"Snif"......

You hurt my feelin's.

Now?....... You must die.
Rouge.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel
Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel
Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel
Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel
Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel
Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel
Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel
Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel Bum and Shovel

Bum's and Shovels and Gibs! Oh My!
(Wizard of Oz/UT)

>>>>>>>>>>>BIG TONY<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh man Tony..
I laughed my but off.
Man, that was good!!! BUM, and SHOVEL!!!!:):):):):
Sorry I fell out of character for a minute..

OH YA?!?!?!

Well, You too must die! ALL MUST DIE!!!!!

R

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Woosmarine,
I have been talking with Rogue and the others about game night and the possibility of making things a little bit more fair for you. So far the only thing we have come up with is we can all play left handed like I did last year or we will limit ourselves to using only the pistol. Rogue thought maybe he would just run around and kick you to death and not even need a weapon. I agreed that it would be fun to try that and if we really want to give you an advantage, left handed play only and no weapons. What do you think??
Maybe that way you won't end up with a blister on your thumb from hitting the spacebar so much.

Spade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ouch!.....you just turned the knife..... great dig.... my computer may be a little slow compared to yours but that is because you guys needed faster pc's to keep up with me..... you bunch of old MEN wetting yourselves.... HE HE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So tell me do wolverines have a fetish for bed-wetting? Did I hear you right?

I couldn't have heard you right...

Rogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm going to get another 8mb of Ram, and then you all won't be talking so much. By the way, I am a wolverine. I am used to being surrounded by SMELLY WILD DOGS. I always win. I will claw your eyes out. Then I will smash them with chocolate between two graham crackers. I will eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Dog meat... a scrumptious delicacy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beware" Is the warning we say
"Stay right there" Is Prayer we pray
"Head Shot!" Is the victory we say!
"Death" Is the rain we spray
"Unreal" ...Is the game we play
Let's face it guys. We rule in the slamma-Jamma category. Me and Spade officially take on all 'Yall.

...A toast:

To the death.... Maybe today IS a good day to die!

Rogue/Spade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rogue
Scoundrel, rascal.
Scoundrel> Villain>Murderer.
Spade
Scoop>Hollow-out> Dig>Tunnell> BORE>CUT>SCRAPE>GOUGE>TORTURE>ILL>MURDER

Nuff said?

R

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still have this picture of Rogue, being a GIRLY superhero. She wore spandex outfits and did aerobics. 1-2-3 kick, 1-2-3-kick. GO ROUGE , GO GO GO RUG. he he he

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I can say is when I have the time to sit and read all these, you will hear from me. Right now I am packing up and driving home from KC. SPADE came from the ACE of spades that is the highest card in the deck. It is also used in many magic tricks by only the most skilled magicians. Don't mind the shovel comment, just means I have a HANDLE on things and tend to have a sharp head. If you need to move a lot of ground, bury something, or just have something to lean on, I'm your man. According to my count, you guys are the ones really shoveling it out.

Since were talking names, BIG TONY
means.........
huh......
well.......
maybe........
no..............
ok i got it................v .....................SUGAR FROSTED FLAKES

and Wolverine is just another name for a badger which I will say is the only animal that a bear will not go up against. Guess I don't know why.

Spade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock.....
Hear that sound?.......
That.... Is the sound of inevitability...... It is the sound of your death......
Good bye........ Mr. Anderson.

Congratulations, Rogue....... "You're the winner"....... As the camera circles the figure of Rogue standing at Blue's flag with the remnants of all of the "Gamers" bodies in pieces around him, Our hero Rogue thinks to himself...... AHHHHHH..... The smell of success. GUNPOWDER!

HEADSHOT!

-R-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the way After Rogue sees this image of him by the blue flag, he would wake up from falling asleep! You ask why did he fall asleep? He had gotten his head shot so many times that he could only play about 6-10 seconds at a time, then he would hit the space bar once again.

Also, Rogue, When you play against me you don't hear a "Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock....."
You just hear "Bang!" and you head bounces on the ground!!! Of course then you hear me Laughing Out Loud afterwards!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is Big Tony?
Jesus I have heard of, Rogue and Spade I have heard of...
But Big Tony????
Never heard of him.

Rogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Bum (of Bum & Shovel) you don't need to Know "Big Tony".
You just need to Fear Him!!!
Headshot!
Double Kill!
Multi Kill!
ULTRA Kill!!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I am amazed at the creativity I see here! I never thought that a bunch of soon-to-be-schooled lamers could think of all this on their own! I must say I am very impressed. Of course the true test of one's skillz is the game itself, then the real lamers are separated from the l33t. I will be seeing you lamer from the right side of the scope.
'nuff said!

ZWarrior

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've never heard of ... ZEE WERER..
Who is that? IS he any good.
Jesus I have heard of, Rogue and Spade I have heard of....
But ZEEWEREIER?

Who the heck is that!

Rogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KRAK! pwing! KRAK! Shuckhuck!
HEADSHOT!
Yet another failed attempt by rag, uh I mean Rogue, to survive the gauntlet created by ZWarrior.
ZWarrior 15, Rogue 1

The dark sniper slips into the shadows and tracks another victim....
KRAK! Thwuck!
Headshot
The shovel falls to the stealthy terror of ZWarrior's sniper rifle.
ZWarrior 8, Spade 1

Wussareen hears his teammates fall and worries for his frag count. Where is he? What was that sound? Is that HIM? Where can I get a clean pair of panties? WHERE'S MY MOMMY?!?!

"Do not rejoice over me, Oh my enemy.
Tho you strike, yet shall I rise again!" Micah 7:8

I may fall, but you will fail!

'nuff said

ZWarrior{Ambush!}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PLEASE.... Someone explain this gibberish.....

Rogue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evening fell over the hills.... the air was cool this time of night, and he welcomed it. The day was full. Not one more fight he could fit into it, he thought.

Then: lump, lump, lump. He glanced down. And saw the head of a victim rolling over to him. He looked up again staring off into the distance....

His often enemy, now partner was standing there beside him. Steaming in the now cooling evening. The splatters of blood still fresh on his flak vest, and the nick-marks of the close calls of fighting so many at once: His grin was tired, but satisfied...

It was Spade. The one man that was his equal. So often they fought in rooms and buildings taunting and killing until both men had to get new spacebars.... Oh the fun, racking up frags, kills, and gibs. But now, for a time... Partners.
"Good Kill?" Rogue asked as he looked out over the battlefield, the martyred remnants of Wolverine and Big Tony's body, lie in pieces from Rogue's anger....

"...It was ok, for now. He really didn't put up that much of a fight," Spade said wiping off his blade. It shimmered in the light of the moon.

"Who was it, so I know when I can take it easy?" Rogue asked, a slight grin fading over his blood-splattered face...

"ZWarrior.... Spade said. And not much of one at that... Some guy named Joe is entering the arena, and then we'll see"

"We'll see" said Rogue as he looked off into the distant evening, waiting for Wolverine and Bog Tony to hit the spacebar and begin this all over again, but for now they were hunkered over the pop cooler eating chips trying to figure out a strategy.

Rogue and Spade... Waited.

...and ZWarrior? Well let's just say that he met a friend in another game a game with less torture and mayhem... A game called:

STARCRAFT!

-R-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As darkness settled completely on the stark landscape Rogue and Spade settled in to wait for their next round against the "helpless" victims they had faced through the day. They shared stories of the battles and the scars they had incurred, relishing each frag, each gib until late in the night.

Slowly, a shadow approached their little gathering and silently slipped up within a few feet. The silent, stealthy shadow could hear their conversations and see their breath rising in gray tendrils into the crisp, dark night. He waited for the two to finish another story...

"Yea, that was an easy kill." Spade bragged, "I just camped near the respawn point and when ZWarrior came in, I chased him down and gibbed him!
It was too easy; I had already grabbed all the inventory and weapons nearby so he had nothing to fight with. I just kept shooting at him with my rocket launcher, and eventually he blew. I must say though, he did a great job avoiding a lot of the damage. Wish I could dodge like that. Wish you could dodge like that, it would make our fights more of a challenge!"

The shadow chuckled quietly and pulled his weapon of choice, flak cannon.

"No sense making this TOO easy," he thought, looking at his sniper rifle.

The shadow rose to his feet and called out to the two hapless victims.

"Here's your first lesson in dodging boys!!"

He let loose with a barrage of flak grenades around them. Not close enough to kill, but just close enough to scare them. Then he stepped into the light and prepared for the fight of their lives.

Both men stared at each other in stark terror and utter confusion. They each dove in a different direction hoping to avoid the damage from the explosives.

The shadow man stood and leveled his FC at Rogue and pulled the trigger.
Rogue felt the shards of metal rip through his body and knew that he didn't have much left to stand against this strangely familiar person. He pulled his rocket launcher and prayed for help as he popped a shot at the stranger.
It went wild and he felt new lances of pain as the FC went off again. He slumped to the ground, his vision fading fast. Vaguely he remembers a saying that may have come from this man in the past... "Suck it down!" Could it be? Alas, before the answer can resolve itself, he is dead.

Spade had not been idle while this shadow of a man ripped Rogue a new one.
He headed for the closest cover and prepared for the coming showdown. He watched as the stranger finished off Rogue and turned towards him. Suddenly recognition flared in his mind and he realized who this was... ZWarrior!
Panic raced again through his mind as he realized that this time he was not facing an unarmed man with no resources to acquire, now he was facing a armed, and armoured man who looked as though he cared little what Spade may try.

ZWarrior turned towards the fragment of a wall that was all that was left from some long past day of battle. He had seen Spade cower behind the wall as he dispatched Rogue. That itself had been far to easy. "Probably trains against 'bots on the easy levels.", he thought to himself.

Spade prepped the ripper and bounced a few rounds ZWarrior's way. He dodged them easily. Next Spade tried the pulse gun. ZWarrior caught a few rounds in the leg, but nothing seemed to hurt him.

ZWarrior lobbed another flak grenade in Spade's direction, the smiley face leering at Spade all the way in. The explosion threw Spade out from his place of cover and into the open ground of the bombed out building's main floor.

"Time for another lesson in the art of dodging Spade."

"Not just now thanks, can I try it some other time?" Spade replied.

In response ZWarrior brought online his handgun and began firing at Spade.v "I promise to start slow and give you time to catch up with the rest of the class."

Rogue respawned on the far side of the area and quickly gathered all the weapons, ammo, and armour he could find, he will definitely need it this time. He knew that he was outclassed by this new player, but hoped against all hope for a VERY lucky shot. He headed in the direction of the building he and Spade had sheltered before ZWarrior appeared.

Spade checked the ammo on his chain gun, 25 rounds remaining. So far he had thrown all he had at this man and NOTHING had stopped him. He had dodged everything, resembling more of a blur than a man. He looked about for ZWarrior and couldn't find him. Had he left the fight and gone for more supplies, or was he biding his time waiting for Spade to tire?

ZWarrior stepped out from the shadows of a fallen column and called to Spade, "I see you still haven't learned anything yet, perhaps I should give you another lesson?" He raised his handgun and began firing at Spade as he ran towards him, bullet tearing through Spade with each shot.

Suddenly Spade fell to the ground and lie there. ZWarrior stepped up to him, kicked the chain gun away, and placed the handgun to Spade's head.
"This is a pass/fail course Spade. You fail!"

Spade saw the blast from the gun and everything went dark. Spacebar time again.

ZWarrior regretted fragging Spade that way, he had been a good challenge for him. Too bad his partner wasn't the same. He guessed that Spade probably carried most of the weight for that team.

He noticed movement outside in the street and recognized the skill-less movements of Rogue as he TRIED to move into firing range. Slowly ZWarrior raised his sniper rifle and sighted in on Rogue. He held his breath and pulled the trigger. One round flew from the weapon with a load crack and struck Rogue in the leg, knocking him spinning into a wall nearby.

The sudden impact surprised Rogue, that had hurt! How had ZWarrior done that so quickly? I need to practice on something other than easy levels in the future, he thought to himself. He dove to cover as ZWarrior raised the weapon again.

ZWarrior watched as Rogue prepared to move again. He was obviously going to go for cover. Tiring of the fight he sites in and fires, time slow to a near standstill as he does.

THWACK! Headshot!

He relaxes as he watches Rogue slump to the ground, again. Maybe one day he might be a challenge, but only by a miracle.

"Class Dismissed." ZWarrior mutters as he wanders off to find other targets and maybe catch up with his partner and friend, Big Tony.

'nuff said!

ZWarrior[Ambush!]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cute story! If only you were as good in playing the game as you are writing about it! Having a great imagination is good but skill is what counts in the game of UNREAL! Maybe you should take the extra time you have to practice playing the game instead of writing stories. And your partner, BIG tony? Is that an oxymoron?

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You have too much time on your hands, to write a novel like that. But I can never put down a Good True story! And I don't mind the comments from Whimp-erine, he's just jelous he isn't good enough for you to even mention him in the novel!!!!
That's Gotta Hurt!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It really stinks doesn't! You guys WANT TO BE GOOD LIKE ME, SO much, but you never will be. I can hear it in your voices. I want you to understand it's your lack of skill that is holding you back, not me! I know you feel that rage inside, but let it go. Just let it go!

Look at it this way guys or should I say girls. You may not be able to be as good as I am, but it does give you a really high goal to shoot for! You know that saying, "Shoot for the stars, you may just hit your shoe strings!"

As for little Tony's comments. I would rather NOT be mentioned in Zwarrior's fairy tale. A story that makes, gamers that have no skill, to be great shadow warriors. By the way, is this the fairy tale where Big Tony is the fairy Godmother that turns into a pumpkin coach and wisks Zwarrior away wearing Crystal Slippers before the great and mighty RUG takes him out with his sniper water pistol! Kids play!

My name is Wolverine. I don't play games! Hear me ! Dooms day is coming! Yes, I will do this with my 166! WHoaoaoaoaaa!

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spade! oh! SPADE! I never knew, well you know, you were a little less of a man than the rest of us! Maybe that's why you hesitate when holding a big, manly, rocket launcher! Perhaps we can find an Unreal Patch, that will allow you to throw Barbies at us. Any who. You will go down like the rest, wimpering ,crying, asking for mercy!

WHHWOOOOOOAOOAAAAA!!!!

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whimp-erine,
My foe, My Sniper Target, My lack of compatition. Why do you attack a Semi-Truck with a fork? One does not takeon more than they can chew! If they do they get a < > before they can move. What I'm referring to is the "tricycle" type skills you havecompared to the "porsche" type skills that some of us others have. So you may want to take your 486DX2-133 and prepare for the REAL PAIN!!!
As my compadre says... Nuff Said!

>>>>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It sounds like little Tony is hiding behind his partner Zwarrior's skills and Rug is hiding behind his pal Spade's skills. Remember Girls, this is not a tag team event. This is solo. One on many. Everyone for themselves. I don't mind if you hide behind them in the game, I'll take you both out with my sniper rifle. HE he he

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To this memo, I would say no one man is always an enemy...

BE VERY CAREFULL WOOOOOOSSSSMARINE... OR ZWARIOR AND ROGUE WILL JUST HAVE TO SHOW YA THE ROPES!

-R-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a serious note.....
I have been giving a lot of thought to my handle.
I wanted to come up with a new name.....

I am thinking of SPECTER.

What do you guys think?

Signed:
Currently Rogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think that's spelled wrong. I think it's SPHINCTER! hahaha

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the "player formerly known as Rogue", it would be more kewl to us
SPECTRE...
Now, let's see what we could do with that... hmmm....
Spectator (as in not-so innocent bystander)
Ooohhh, "sphincter"! guess that ruins that (sorry)

Spectre

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks a lot Spectre, That ruins everything....

Hmmmmm, well back to the ole drawing board....

Signed:
RUG/BUM/Rogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't forget RAG!

Hee Hee

Zwarrior

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spectre was also a character in DC comics. He was a Spirit of Justice. Unfortunatly most of the people he judged died. So most people were afraid of him, Not like we are of Rug; I mean Rogue. BTW Rogue is the name of a Chick in the X-Men, is there something we should know about Rogue????

Plays like a girl...
Name like a girl...
Must be a .....?

>>>>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BTW, wasn't SPECTRE an evil organization that always lost in the old TV series "Get Smart"?

Zwarrior

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rogue are you having a bit of an identity crisis???
Who are you?
What are you??
What is your purpose???
And why do you always get your headshot off in UT????

>>>>>>>>>>>Big Tony<<<<<<<<<<<<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

remember this from our last game night! You were so cute Rouge (Sphincter) whatever your name is, Pleading for your life! And notice my Rating Girls!

Wolverine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also noticed the difference in FONTS! Just like a small brained animal-like creature, namely a Wussarine, to try and fake out. Trust me the proof is in the playing. Bring your llama skillz against my l33t skillz and then lets see the score!

'nuff said! -X-

ZWarrior[Ambush!]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know, Spade had a good name once.
It was 'Yo MAMA...
That way when he pounded me it was:
Killed by 'Yo MAMA...

I thought that was a funny name...

-R-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like this, all the cannon fodder is quiet. Does this mean that everyone is hiding? Fearing the wrath of ZWarrior and the fearsome sniper rifle?
Where is the fearsome Rogue/Specter/Sphincter/Rag/Bum?
Has the mighty Wolverine been skinned?
What of the great Spade, has he fallen in a hole?
Big_Tony, have you been belittled?
Oh, Yoda_mon, will you ever speak, you little green raisin?
And what of the might Spectre, have you been Stoned?

I am ZWarrior!v Feel my wrath!
KRAK! HEADSHOT!
KRAK! HEADSHOT!
KRAK! HEADSHOT! Dominating!
KRAK! HEADSHOT!
KRAK! HEADSHOT! Unstoppable!
KRAK! HEADSHOT!
KRAK! HEADSHOT! Godlike!

And the rest shall fall!

'nuff said! -X-

ZWarrior[Ambush!]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Bet 'Nuff said.
Man, I keep reading memos like that and I will have to get a new keyboard and monitor, I keep spraying my coffee all over it as I laugh my head off.
But I do like the art work... The "X" is cute..

R

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lecture by the master:

The evolution of "Skill" is a wonderful thing.
So let us talk about skill for a moment.

Since the beginning of time, man has always tried to "hone" if you will, his skill level in many areas.

Take fire for instance.

At first man relied on a strike of lightning and when he saw one, moved his entire camp to where it struck so that he could stay warm. But the fire soon went out and man saw many members of his family die of the cold until another lightning strike would occur. Usually in the spring, but by then he had to get married all over again. Rarely did families last through a winter.

It was then that man found that if he placed another log on the existing fire, that the fire lasted, and so to did his family. Hence the phrase: Quick, through another log on the fire! But look at how man's skill with fire has "honed" through the years until now. We can flick a bic, and wham! instant fire. Man of old would have truly been amazed at how we keep fire in a can.

Man's skill in other areas also has been perfected over the years.

Take war for instance.
Man started out in the arena as a lone trooper trying to get a shot off at a couple of asteroids wandering by. But was destined to get whopped by that pesky little space ship that came in from the left and blasted man in the first couple of shots. Surely, skill was at a primitive level.

As time went on though, man has come full circle again and has perfected his skill level in the art of computer war. At first man was primitive, and lacked sufficient skill levels to impress even the most skilled asteroid shooter. Example: Wolverine. Lacking in almost ALL levels of combat skill, we see wolverine use basic yell and spook tactics. He tries to intimidate his prey by speaking about Charmin TP, and other mamby-pamby ploys. Surely a primitive warrior at best. A threat? I think not!

As time went on we saw others try to "Log-On" to the 'skilled' levels of war, we see warriors like ZWARRIOR and BIG Tony, who try to fane skill, by using terms like WAR, and BIG in their names, but alas, to no avail. again basically unimpressive. Still, others like Yoda-MON, and Spectre (The man with no name), have very little skill and will not be mentioned in this lecture. (Although it is a little impressive as Spectre tries to be quiet, thinking that this intimidates opponents). But error in judgment is a fact of life at this level of skill.

Then there are those, who, in their own right are in a class by themselves. They stand alone in the art of war, and rarely are taxed in realms of battle. Warriors who, by their own nature are the embodiment of skill. Skill "Personified" if you will. Even in battles of being outnumbered several to one, show great skill in not only FRAGGING their opponents, but GIBBING them. Actually making the computer re-define how a kill looks.

Only two stand alone in this category. They are Rogue, and Spade. ..... I have to pause in typing this lecture for a moment at the mention of their names. Men of war? Skill? Power? Unlike any seen before. All should beware of them if faced by them in battle. Surely death has no equal in the arena. Honed through hours of time in the killing fields, these two warriors are the bench-mark by which all others are judged. And will be judged. Forever to be hailed as the best of the best.

Author UNKNOWN!

R

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I would have to agree that Spade and Rogue are warriors beyond compare, who are incredibly dangerous. They are so dangerous, that they kill anything that gets near them. Mostly because every time they shoot, it's like when Barney Fife pulls his handgun and puts the bullet in. He tends hurt himself and others. Others die when they draw weapons simply because they have to throw so much out there to hit anything, you can't miss!

Skillz are determined by the aim and the amount of damage. How long will it take the Rag and the Hoe to hit and kill me. Longer that it will for Wolverine to kill anybody. ;)

'nuff said! -X-

ZWarrior[Ambush!]

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July 10th 2000

Dear Diary,
Looking forward to the big day with all of the guys. I like playing with good players.... but these guys will due for now... Hang on diary, I just got an e-mail.

Dear Diary,
NOT liking Wolverine very much. He has started taunting me. His taunts are in error of course, but it is none the less annoying. So I will reply to all and lash them to the poles of embarrassment with my wordery.
Rogue

July 11th 2000
Dear Diary,
OH MY GOSH! the frenzy of the fight has made savages of em all!!! I have barely been able to stay above all the e-mail. Strangely though, Spade is not present in the fray. Wonder why.
Our last battle was a fight to the finish, but we agreed at the end to truce. At that point I was under the impression that he was for now a friend. I will send out e-mail to that effect, that he and I are allianced for now...
Hope this works... but we will see, if not I will have to pulverize Spade for his insolence.
Rogue

July 12th 2000
Dear Diary
Strange. Spade has still chosen to be silent. I am beginning to doubt his existence. Maybe I killed him off in our last battle, I was a little overbearing for him I thought, but I also thought he might be able to survive. Maybe he's in the hospital still. Maybe he had to order another spacebar... Maybe he is trying to figure out how to keep up with me? I will try another e-mail that says we are still truced. Man, ZWarrior is under the delusion that he can beat me. Me of all people. I will have to spank him like the pest he has become.

July 13th 2000
OK enough already. Spade has chosen to be silent so be it. I have had to take on all of these vermin alone. So I will spank them all!!
wait I just got another e-mail... Oh it's Spade. Saying that he is in hiding on purpose. But could it be that he is faneing alliance to tether me into a fix? Could it be that Spade is actually my enemy? After all, we have been off and on for years, why would he just now get scruples, and like me...AHHHH... He has often just picked me off from time-to-time with his sniper rifle, and just smiled as I had to hit my space bar. BLAST! I have been a fool! He must be tethering me along. He MUST be. Otherwise he would write, he would respond!

July 14th....
Dearest Diary
I will attempt to contact Spade one more time, then I will blast him to kingdom-come. wait, I just got an e-mail.
OOOOH Looks like an anonymous writer has grouped he and I together. Actually put us into the same category. heh,heh,heh.. While agree that he is good.. Real good, much better than those LAMERS like Yoda-MON, QWarrior, Pig-Tony, Woosmarine, and the man with no name, I would not go so far as to actually group him with me...
After all he's not THAT good. At least not to be grouped with me as an equal. I will have to slap down the pesky Spade just to show the world that no one touches Rogue and lives. I will have to put Spade on alert to be careful I am going to Gibb the BUM.

Alas the fool is played no longer. All will die that day including the man with no name!

Rogue

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The lecture part II finishing Rogue's story! He he

The tension waned has Rogue realized that he had finished the story. He thought to himself. "I just stood up in front of the class and actually shared my story. I didn't wet my pants this time, either. This story was the story of ALL stories. His story was about the Unreal heroes of old. It took him a whole year to write it. Now being in the 11th grade, he knew he should have been able to write such words as 'apple', 'dog', and even bigger words than that. Just then he remembered that his dad was there to watch him read his story. He looked to his dad as if to receive the OK, that he had done a great job. With tears in his eyes, his dad smiled. That was all Rogue needed. Rogue was overjoyed. Just then, his dad walked up to him and whispered something in Rogue's ear. His dad knowing that Rogue had problems with his bladder, asked him if Rogue needed the extra large pullups he had for just such an emergency. Rogue smiled and said, "I don't need them dad!" Rogue may not be a great speller but in the art of UNREAL, he knows the greatest of them all. In his spare time, Rogue studied the UNREAL heroes of late. Rogue knew that in himself, he would never come close to the stature of one of these heroes. He was always fidgety. Just the thought of holding a sniper rifle made him wet his pants. Although the people of the Unreal stories sounded true, he never really gave in to them. He always thought that there were some still alive. A few, that when drawn in to the battle, would rise to the occasion. Rogue thought to himself, "Someday I am going to meet one of them." Anyway, back at the homestead. Rogue was smiles for the rest of the day. He was so happy that he finally had read a story in front of his class WITHOUT peeing his pants. His dad went in to take a nap, since he had the rest of the day off. Just then Rogue remembered the other day, when dad had come home a little late from work, he was carrying a long black case. Every now and then, Dad would bring this case in. He would always walk straight to his room, change and then shut his door behind him. Rogue got a little curious and decided, while dad was asleep, he would snoop. He went through dad's room and didn't find a thing until he accidentally moved a shoe in the closet. He never had seen dad where those shoes before. Some mechanism triggered and opened a panel in the wall. As the panel opened, his eyes were amazed at the sight! He walked into a trophy room. It was majestic! He saw heads hung on plaques around the room. He recognized every one of those names. The OLD Unreal heroes like Zwarrior, Big_Tony, Spade, etc... they were all dead! Not one alive! Just then he looked at the Biggest plaque on the wall it stated, "These were all sniped by Wolverine!". He looked down and saw the case that dad had always brought in to the house. He opened it! It was a sniper rifle. He looked up. He saw a necklace hung up that was dad's necklace. Dad always said it helped him to do a better job! Thoughts flashed through his mind. There were times that dad acted a little weird. What does this all mean? It couldn't be! Rogue thought to himself, "My dad is the great Wolverine! He is one of the heroes of Unreal! Not only has he met one of the heroes, THE HERO is his dad. He was amazed! He looked back down and saw a drawer in the wall. He opened it ever so slowly. He saw another sniper rifle case. On the case there was an engraving. It said, "For ROUGE The Son of Wolverine". He could not believe his eyes. What does this mean? Will his dad, Wolverine, train him in the ways of Unreal? Just then he heard his dad wake up and call for him! He shut the drawer, backed out of the room, and shut the panel. By this time his dad had reached his room. Jeffrey standing there in front of Wolverine. He was amazed! ...... His dad looked in the closet and noticed the shoe was out of place. He knew that his son was in the closet. He turned and looked at Jeffrey. He asked, "Did you move any of my shoes?". Jeffrey looked at the shoe with shock. All of sudden, he felt something. A warm feeling went through his legs as if his dad was giving him something magically. What was his did giving him, a present, a super gift, what? As he came backed to his senses he noticed he just peed all over himself. He looked up at his dad. His dad told him to go clean up. Rogue looked at his dad and said "Are you..." He was cut off by his dad before he could finish his question. His dad had a twinkle in his eyes and said, "We'll talk later." ................

Wolverine

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From X-5150 weapons training class: July 16th, 2000 Course: Basic Unreal.

Copied from hand-written notes by Rogue. Prince of Gibb.

1. line-of-sight is a misnomer. Unleashing hell onto someone can be achieved with RPG-type gunning, laid out into a spread. This is essential for mass-killing. Also is effective for hitting high end enemies like Spade. When the enemy is basically unseen, this weapon is effective. Proximity is the only requirement.

2. Pea-shooter-type weapons are still effective on certain Lamers like Vector and Yoda-mon. Note how, in this captured video, vector seems to wander aimlessly around looking for a victim that will stand still long enough for him to get a shot off. he has the appearance of being "Motion-sick". But alas to no avail he is picked off by a basic shooter. So... the basic pea-shooter is very effective on LLAMAS like Vector and Yoda-mon. Beware though, enemies like Vector will go out and purchase high-end machines to slow opponents down so that he can have an advantage. Also he is known to avoid the fight altogether, and slit off to go play other less strenuous games like STAR CRAFT!!!!

3. Note the new addition to simple firing of weapons, like the shot gun. It is effective on Lamers like Wolverine. Note how he uses simple movements like jump and crouch to avoid contact. Simply aim and fire. You'll hit him every time. NUFF SAID!

4. Worth mentioning is the trip bomb, affectionately known as the ZWarrior-Bomb. Given to ZWarrior because of his now famous: jump-turn-run into the bomb maneuver. This was made famous in the spring of 2000 as he perfected the jump into the trip bomb maneuver. It really is a spectacle to behold! note here too that proximity is a requirement for destruction effectiveness. And in this case (The case of the ZWarrior bomb) is not really a problem.

Then there is the famous Big Tony gun. Of all of the fighter weapons, this should be taken the most seriously:
BT weapons, as they are known now, are frequently used in sniper-type situations where the opponent is "too afraid" to get out into the open and use the form of fighting now known as "Run-n-Gun". So beware of the BT weapon known as the sniper rifle. Frags and Gibbs are the norm for this weapon. BT uses it as a primary weapon!
Nuff Said

-R-**

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